I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
