New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
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For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
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All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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