She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
