Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
