it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
