Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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