Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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