when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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