dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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