is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
