This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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