I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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