Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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