Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
