just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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