your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
