I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
