sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
