Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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