he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize