You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
