margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
