vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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