she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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