Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think my vagina is haunted
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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