Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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