YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He has the fingertips of a God
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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