So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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