I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
