Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
