it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize