so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's shark week go big or go home
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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