I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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