dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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