I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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