I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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