When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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