Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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