Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
