Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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