cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
