ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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