I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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