Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
