i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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