I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
