I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
