i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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