I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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