Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
