Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
