I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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