She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
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When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize