She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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