I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.