Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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