My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.