I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?