i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it