like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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