Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying