How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
