Midget sex pt 2 tonight
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
