are you still at the devil's house?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
