I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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