He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
