Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There's always time for handjobs
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
