Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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