I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
