Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
