Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
