i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
